business casual tried to steal my soul

Once a year all the teachers wore shirts from their alma mater colleges which meant jeans could be worn along with the t-shirt or sweatshirt. I walked in on that day in one of ill-fitting dresses I lined up to wear each week and was disappointed to walk into hallways of comfortably dressed colleagues. I…

if Icarus never flew

Icarus failed because he took his trusty wings too close to the sun. He died in a triumphant rebuke of what he had been taught. He crashed back down to earth so that we could all be reminded that no matter our own wants or skills, the sun will always burn too hot. But what…

being accessible

I am away from the classroom, so I don’t have my captive audience, the people who had to listen to me, or at least pretend to. I tried hard to not be a teacher who was alienating or direct by tunnel vision, I designed activities and an environment to engage students with their own thinking,…

fear of mediocrity

I was a mediocre photographer. It was one of my creative outlets when I was younger, an outlet I thought could perhaps be refined and polished. I took a few great photographs, but I could not be consistent nor obsessive in the necessary way an artist must be. I learned the core components of a…

underdog mode

Being the underdog is the place I most excel from. It is a great thrill to prove people wrong, and blow away their preconceived expectations. This has fueled many of my greatest feats. But it is unsustainable. It is not a model for growth. It means that I am seeking out detractors at every turn….

count all the things that might kill you

I consider myself rather immune to the fear mongering that is the media’s bread and butter, but I am always amazed by how slick they can slip ideas into my subconscious. So here are the things that might kill me that have crossed my mind today: my birth control sleeping with my cell phone on,…

Fake it until you Make it

Faking it perhaps sounds like a horrible mantra. Faking, pretending, posturing, projecting – may sound like excuses for lying. I am not fond of lying, actually I find myself to be particularly inept at it. Blatant honesty or uncomfortable silence are my two modis operandi. But lying, deceit, manipulation make my stomach ache and I feel…

Another voice the abyss

This site is a way for me to discover myself as a writer and observer of the world. I am a teacher, so thinking I know best is what I have a license in. But my intention is to move beyond my prescribed life and delve into more that lives on the outskirts and isthmus’…

retail therapy

i love shopping. i always have. it used to be a time for family bounding, with my mother, my grandmother, my friends, and now just some quiet time to myself. what is it about shopping that feels so rewarding, like winning a prize, accomplishing a goal, strategizing a good play, a small thrill. yes as…

the physicality of anxiety

what an anxiety attack feels like, is different than a panic attack, I think. My shoulders get tense and soar. My breathing is short and even when I try to breath from my diaphragm, it reverts back. My thinking gets shaky, like its hard to hold onto one thought, and then there is like an echo…

pirhanas on the woman’s soul

whether reading the magazine industry pirhanas that feed off women’s insecurities or the holistic meditation that profit from trying to absolve women of these guilts, the mantra is that “you must love your body”. The heart and the mind are intertwined and your physical body feels the vibrations from your larger self. But for the…