I truly enjoy a well constructed how-to list, so at the end of this year I offer one on the subject I know best. How to spend an extra-ordinary amount of time alone. Know thyself. My oldest tattoo is from almost twenty years ago so when people ask about or admire it, I have to…
Category: a lil too deep
writings in which i delve more into my interior world
subject to change
often on the border of disappearing
to hell in a handbasket
What does success look like as we flail towards hell in a handbasket? I interpret that phrase to mean a lack of accountability, a lull into complacency, passivity – a space between being trapped and self-imposed constraints. In looking up the phrase a painting from 1515 is referenced, “Hieronymous Bosch painting “The Haywain” (c. 1515) (in the Prado,…
perhaps the only story I need to tell
He gets back in the silver sedan, carrying away my whole sense of self. I think about going home, and instead have another beer at the cafe before closing time. I turn to go home, stop at the bodega for another beer, and walk past my house to sit by the river. I am still…
people are hard for me
Other people can be really hard for me. I often seem outgoing, loud, engaging, humorous, charismatic, when I’m not moody, overly introspective, prickly, and self-involved. I am an only child who told her deepest secrets to a stuffed bear, that I still have; but now he sits on a shelf so that I don’t tear…
why yoga was miserable today
Going to a yoga class has become a beacon to a fulfilled life, having a home yoga practice an enlightened life, and a yogi way of life a pathway to the sacred. But yoga classes are more often miserable in multi-dimensional ways. Other reasons yoga class may be miserable: it was the kind started by…
capitalism has always kept families apart
My paternal grandmother will pass soon, we have been told by doctors. She is 95 and has had a pretty awesome life. I will be able to attend her service, and even see her a few times before. It will cost $80 is gas for the drive back and forth, a little more for tolls….
The PH.D. I earned in my sleep
Stress dreams are a reflection of the seen and unseen stress of our waking lives. In general they are not fantasies set in unreal landscapes cavorting with mystical animals. Stress dreams too often are a photocopy of the days – a little blurred, lacking detail, washed out colors but intensified reactions, complex inner narratives, and…
I do want to inspire wrong choices, awkward declarations, poor judgment, impossible risks, and in general a celebration of what can happen without the restraint of doing the right thing.
In the face of all the tragedy – current and impending – of our world today, I search for solace but mostly find excuses and diversions. All the things to never buy are things I never bought before, all the small amounts of donations I used to spare are now too much of a dent…
letter of recommendation to officially leave my professional role
Dear School community, I am writing to recommend Amélie Baker for a longer extension of her time as a writer. Amélie found great fulfillment as a teacher in BPS for ten years. During her time she taught a range of courses, some more successfully than others. She foresees a return to the classroom in the…
if Icarus never flew
Icarus failed because he took his trusty wings too close to the sun. He died in a triumphant rebuke of what he had been taught. He crashed back down to earth so that we could all be reminded that no matter our own wants or skills, the sun will always burn too hot. But what…
should you should
The push towards self-improvement is fierce in American culture. It permeates medicine, food, clothing, how we walk, how we breath, how we talk to each other and set our time. The spider weaves a beautiful web to catch it’s prey, leaving glistening threads stretched across gaps, waiting. The mentality of self-improvement are invisible lines to…
yell in the face of treacherous, ugly underwater hidden beasts that rule our society
What strikes me on a daily basis is how much I relied on my role as a teacher to cement my sense of a purpose in this world; that is what I miss the most about teaching. Under the blanket of paperwork, bureaucracy, media criticism, district policies obeyed or ignored, I could always point to…
