It is not a metaphor. I found a coconut on the ground, where tons more lay because I am in Florida, and watched youtube videos and took a chisel and hammered away at it. People so often think of birthdays or celebration is getting something – and so I could have bought coconut water, dried…
Category: a lil too deep
writings in which i delve more into my interior world
subject to change
often on the border of disappearing
a letter slipped under the door
I can empty my brain and thus my heart, I can examine it outside of me, clear my physical sensations to make space for what the emotions are.
you are your circumstances and other ineloquent, obvious points
Know-Thy-Self. Seems that enlightenment is defined by a person’s ability to simplify their sense of self and meditate upon it. Or that pop culture offers quizzes, personality tests, astrology, self-diagnosis to then self-help. All has contributed to a reinforced obsession with the self – a hunk of marble for us to chisel and polish. Our…
Gentrification and anxiety
Gentrification and anxiety. The effects of gentrification are an interesting lens through which to view mental health. And before I get too far into the esoteric or perhaps abstract; I think a critical piece is that gentrification is not a general term. It is not used for when a lively immigrant community moves in, paints…
extraordinary time alone
I truly enjoy a well constructed how-to list, so at the end of this year I offer one on the subject I know best. How to spend an extra-ordinary amount of time alone. Know thyself. My oldest tattoo is from almost twenty years ago so when people ask about or admire it, I have to…
to hell in a handbasket
What does success look like as we flail towards hell in a handbasket? I interpret that phrase to mean a lack of accountability, a lull into complacency, passivity – a space between being trapped and self-imposed constraints. In looking up the phrase a painting from 1515 is referenced, “Hieronymous Bosch painting “The Haywain” (c. 1515) (in the Prado,…
perhaps the only story I need to tell
Tectonic Plates Rattle In the instance of a #metoo moment or when a sexual dynamic is introduced to an academic, professional or intellectual context, the lens focuses tightly on the two primary people. The focus of that lens follows the tradition that sex occurs behind closed doors. Once we remove that constraint, the damage can…
people are hard for me
Other people can be really hard for me. I often seem outgoing, loud, engaging, humorous, charismatic, when I’m not moody, overly introspective, prickly, and self-involved. I am an only child who told her deepest secrets to a stuffed bear, that I still have; but now he sits on a shelf so that I don’t tear…
why yoga was miserable today
Going to a yoga class has become a beacon to a fulfilled life, having a home yoga practice an enlightened life, and a yogi way of life a pathway to the sacred. But yoga classes are more often miserable in multi-dimensional ways. Other reasons yoga class may be miserable: it was the kind started by…
capitalism has always kept families apart
My paternal grandmother will pass soon, we have been told by doctors. She is 95 and has had a pretty awesome life. I will be able to attend her service, and even see her a few times before. It will cost $80 is gas for the drive back and forth, a little more for tolls….
The PH.D. I earned in my sleep
Stress dreams are a reflection of the seen and unseen stress of our waking lives. In general they are not fantasies set in unreal landscapes cavorting with mystical animals. Stress dreams too often are a photocopy of the days – a little blurred, lacking detail, washed out colors but intensified reactions, complex inner narratives, and…
I do want to inspire wrong choices, awkward declarations, poor judgment, impossible risks, and in general a celebration of what can happen without the restraint of doing the right thing.
In the face of all the tragedy – current and impending – of our world today, I search for solace but mostly find excuses and diversions. All the things to never buy are things I never bought before, all the small amounts of donations I used to spare are now too much of a dent…
collective failure 