Remedial Decency for white people

Okay white people here is our remedial course on being a decent person:

  1. We do not call the police because a Black person asks us to leash our dog.
  2. We do not call the police because a Black person is wearing a hoodie.
  3. We do not call the police because a Black person walks too close on the sidewalk.
  4. We do not call the police because a Black person makes us feel nervous.
  5. We do not call the police because a Black person is selling cigarettes.
  6. We do not call the police because a Black person is going for a jog.
  7. We do not call the police because a Black person looks suspicious.
  8. We do not call the police because a Black person is near the smell of marijuana.
  9. We do not call the police for a noise complaint.
  10. We do not call the police because someone took an Amazon package from our stairs.
  11. We do not call the police because someone is sitting on our stoop.
  12. We do not call the police because a Black person is leaning on our car.
  13. We do not call the police because a Black person is hanging out with other Black people.
  14. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a bike.
  15. We do not call the police because a Black person is hiking in a park.
  16. We do not call the police because a Black person having a pool party.
  17. We do not call the police because a Black person is walking a dog.
  18. We do not call the police because a Black person is sitting with a child.
  19. We do not call the police because a Black person is larger in size than you are.
  20. We do not call the police because a Black person is acting erratically.
  21. We do not call the police because a Black person is celebrating with other Black people.
  22. We do not call the police because a Black person looks like some Black person from the news.
  23. We do not call the police because a Black person was in the neighborhood too many times.
  24. We do not call the police because a Black person may or may not live in our apartment building.
  25. We do not call the police because a Black person is driving a nice car.
  26. We do not call the police because a Black person is driving an old car.
  27. We do not call the police because a Black person is parking a car.
  28. We do not call the police because a Black person does not want to answer our question.
  29. We do not call the police because a Black person asks us a question.
  30. We do not call the police because a Black person throws something on the sidewalk.
  31. We do not call the police because a Black person picks up something from the sidewalk.
  32. We do not call the police because a Black person has been hanging around.
  33. We do not call the police because a Black person is at the beach.
  34. We do not call the police because a Black person is not wearing enough clothes.
  35. We do not call the police because a Black person is wearing too much clothing,
  36. We do not call the police because a Black person asks for directions.
  37. We do not call the police because a Black person is drunk.
  38. We do not call the police because a Black person is sitting on a bench.
  39. We do not call the police because a Black person having a party.
  40. We do not call the police because a Black person moved into a house nearby.
  41. We do not call the police because a Black person is moving furniture.
  42. We do not call the police because a Black person has a Rolex or other expensive item.
  43. We do not call the police because a Black person rang your doorbell.
  44. We do not call the police because a Black person walked too close and you saw it on your home alarm system.
  45. We do not call the police because a Black person leaves a store with items not in a bag.
  46. We do not call the police because a Black person hops the turnstile.
  47. We do not call the police because a Black person holds the subway door open.
  48. We do not call the police because a Black person gets on the rear door of a bus.
  49. We do not call the police because a Black person is not wearing a face mask.
  50. We do not call the police because a Black person is wearing a face mask.
  51. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a bike that looks exactly like my friend’s bike,
  52. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a motorcycle.
  53. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a four-wheeler.
  54. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a dirt bike,
  55. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a skateboard.
  56. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding a scooter.
  57. We do not call the police because a Black person is riding without a helmet.
  58. We do not call the police because a Black person is wearing a helmet.
  59. We do not call the police because a Black person is near a school.
  60. We do not call the police because a Black person is near a playground.
  61. We do not call the police because a Black person is walking a certain way,
  62. We do not call the police because a Black person exists.

Once you have demonstrated competency at being a decent human being in this remedial course. You can move onto Structural Racism 101, Race and American History 102, Whiteness ain’t shit 200, Abolish the Police 201, Jim Crow and the Criminal Justice System 300.

 

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