to hell in a handbasket

What does success look like as we flail towards hell in a handbasket? I interpret that phrase to mean a lack of accountability, a lull into complacency, passivity – a space between being trapped and self-imposed constraints. In looking up the phrase a painting from 1515 is referenced, “Hieronymous Bosch painting “The Haywain” (c. 1515) (in the Prado,…

perhaps the only story I need to tell

He gets back in the silver sedan, carrying away my whole sense of self. I think about going home, and instead have another beer at the cafe before closing time. I turn to go home, stop at the bodega for another beer, and walk past my house to sit by the river. I am still…

The PH.D. I earned in my sleep

Stress dreams are a reflection of the seen and unseen stress of our waking lives. In general they are not fantasies set in unreal landscapes cavorting with mystical animals. Stress dreams too often are a photocopy of the days – a little blurred, lacking detail, washed out colors but intensified reactions, complex inner narratives, and…

inoculation to the prescient future

As a child my grandparents gave me $25 for Hanukkah and $50 for my birthday, every year from the age of six to sixteen. Only once did I spend any of that money, $15 for a Barbie car, but every other check was deposited directly into my own savings account at the Bank. I still…

universe, I get it, message received loud and clear

I don’t always discuss the specifics of my life, but these are too good not to share. If you have been reading as of late, you know that I am taking a year away from being a classroom teacher to focus on my writing. It is also time for me to reflect on my career…

the only certainty is uncertainty

This will sound outlandish, but the 9/11 attacks occurred at the perfect time in my life. I did not profit nor truly suffer from that tragedy, but it did help to frame my world view. I had already come to understand true poverty by seeing children with distended bellies and victims of leprosy in the…

only fools fall in love…with words

who would ever be foolish enough to fall in love with words, words are devilish, hiding among us waiting to pounce words contain dangers unforeseen, and we walk among them blind as can be words can communicate so much, or nothing at all. images, scents, sensations can be understood throughout this wide world. even numbers…

remedies for cabin fever from a bonafide homebody

I am an only child who was raised by parents who strongly believed that children should have their own interior and exterior worlds (also known as get out of my face and entertain yourself). Coupled with the fact that most of my dearest friends live many borders away and I have an adorable matching set…

public impotence yet aroused by tragedy porn

Things I have learned this week through simply a cursory read of my Facebook feed and pre-chewed news sites.: Israel is invading Gaza, once again the Ukraine has weapons, one strong enough that is took down a commercial airplane on that plane were key researchers trying to solve the riddle of HIV/AIDS Tracy Morgan is…

count all the things that might kill you

I consider myself rather immune to the fear mongering that is the media’s bread and butter, but I am always amazed by how slick they can slip ideas into my subconscious. So here are the things that might kill me that have crossed my mind today: my birth control sleeping with my cell phone on,…