retail therapy

i love shopping. i always have. it used to be a time for family bounding, with my mother, my grandmother, my friends, and now just some quiet time to myself. what is it about shopping that feels so rewarding, like winning a prize, accomplishing a goal, strategizing a good play, a small thrill. yes as…

Adolescent rebellions

Before I had anything to lose, before I had the ties that bind, the sense of considering the future in terms of retirement funds, when I saw the world though an truly suspicious eye… I’d told myself, Amelie. Do not simply get a job, make a family and forget you’re obligations beyond that, don’t let…

empty time

Following the path to serenity, I have found myself with time. Terrifying time. Time that I am not allowed to fill with trivial matters, that I am not allowed to donate to others, that I am not allowed to fill with more work. This is my time. My time to pursue more along my path….

the physicality of anxiety

what an anxiety attack feels like, is different than a panic attack, I think. My shoulders get tense and soar. My breathing is short and even when I try to breath from my┬ádiaphragm, it reverts back. My thinking gets shaky, like its hard to hold onto one thought, and then there is like an echo…

repost: what is collective failure

Why write? I teach, I live among curious, thinking, learning creatures that make my mind spin. It is a good spin, it keeps my mind sharp. But sometimes there are observations that I need to share, outside of my mind. And most of that has to do with how we, as a society, have failed…

collective redemption (repost from the beginning)

the essence of what I am writing here I had started this blog with just my name, but it is not about me as a person, is about me as a thinking, observing participant in our world. Collective failure was going to be my first entry. And it seems like quite a depressing a notion….

recording rather than experiencing, recording in place of memory

I went out to hear music this evening, spiritual, traveling, crossing time and space music. and it struck me how many people, including myself, take flix. I call it a flix, a short little tic, a tic tic tic tock tic tock. listen listen, flix. what are we recording so much for, do we often…

what could be a bigger downer than “failure”

I had started this blog with just my name, but it is not about me as a person, my writing here is meant to be me as a thinking, observing participant in our world. Collective failure was going to be my first entry, which seemed like a terribly depressing notion. I’d pondered, “will I simply…

what is collective failure

Why write? I teach, I live among curious, thinking, learning creatures that make my mind spin. It is a good spin, it keeps my mind sharp. But sometimes there are observations that I need to share, outside of my mind. And most of that has to do with how we, as a society, have failed…