My paternal grandmother will pass soon, we have been told by doctors. She is 95 and has had a pretty awesome life. I will be able to attend her service, and even see her a few times before. It will cost $80 is gas for the drive back and forth, a little more for tolls.

When my maternal grandmother passed it just seemed like too much. I was exhausted from another year of teaching. The plane tickets to France, last minute like that, cost about $2000 each. My parents would have paid for my ticket, but to be there for just five days, and just for a service to say goodbye to a woman whose mind had left long before; it was all just too much. And I was much too young when my grandpere passed. I’m lucky though because my parents were able to save up for plane tickets enough times that I feel connected. Although for most of those trips my dad stayed behind to work.

Those individuals who leave home are the bravest, or the most desperate, or both. Most of the time they cannot predict when they will be able to afford to see their family again. For many there are laws that dictate the borders that cannot be crossed, the time limit that must be stayed, the paperwork withheld.

I never understand the logic of liberals, outraged by each image, the laws passed, the treaties broken. LIke a toddler I sit and repeat “why?” Why did these families leave their home countries? And why were the conditions that bad? And why didn’t they have any other options? And why do you still think that is okay? You complain about how uncomfortable it can be at the Thanksgiving table; some of us count the years since a table has been shared.